Alas-sais, Linggo nang umaga.
Malamig ang sapin sa maluwag na kama.
Masyado pang maaga para bumangon.
Ngunit ganoon yata talaga
Kapag ginising ng katawang nagugutom.
Wala nang laman ang refrigerator.
Halos yelo na ang nag-iisang pitsel sa loob.
Napundi na rin pala ang ilaw.
Wala nang tumambad na grocery list.
Ano ba’ng dapat bilhin?
Ano ba’ng mga kaylangan?
Dapat na yatang kasanayan
Mga de-lata, at mga bagay na instant.
Bakit kaylangang ikulong
Ang kagandahang umusbong?
Paano’ng samyong pangako
Kung tanaw lang sa malayo?
Sobrang natatakot ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw. Ako ay nang-iwan at iniwanan. Maliban sa takot ay pagkalito at lungkot ang iba pang bumabalot sa akin. Ang mga nakasanayan ay isa-isang naglalaho. Akala nilang lahat kaya ko nang ako lang mag-isa. Paano kung sa pagbalik ng kaibigang lumisan ay hindi na niya ako madatnan?
I’ll be sleeping before midnight.
I’ll probably sleep it through the year to come.
I don’t know what to feel right now.
It is not like I can’t live with the thought of you being away.
I’m used to being alone than you are.
I’m most of the time alone anyway.
But you are one of the few good and consistent things in my life.
I’m going to miss you.
I hope I’m still me when you come back.
I’m happy you’re chasing your dreams.
This is getting too cheesy.
And we hate cheesy.
I don’t want to say I’ll wait, but I will until I can.
Dito ko na lang ise-share ‘to since I am too ashamed to admit na I failed in a lot of things lately.
Last day of the year. I keep thinking or more of remembering if I’m as sad last year.
Anyway, my thoughts and worries:
– Going back to my stressful new job. I wanted to quit just 1 month into it pa lang. I’m not like this. I’m questioning myself lately, have I become a quitter? Am I not as strong as I think am?
– I’m losing my best friend. It will be one of the best adventures of his life. I’m happy he achieved his dream. But why does he have to stay away? He’s been one of the few good and consistent things in my life. Then now, napapaisip ako: Do I have feelings for him? Or maybe I just hate the feeling of being left behind. But who doesn’t right?
– Lastly, I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m not good at anything. No one needs me. Well, never mind. This too shall pass.
HELP ME GOD. I don’t know what to do. 😢🙏🏻